24 May

Being nowhere


If you are not here, you are nowhere

Abhishek fingers run furiously on the laptop. The presentation has to be ready in an hour. The thought he will be on a holiday passes by his mind like a fleeting cloud that doesn’t have time to rain. He quickly opens another window to book the flight for Goa to be intervened with a ting tong. Who could be at the door at this hour? Abhishek had forgotten he had ordered food. He just remembers he has also forgotten that he promised to meet his school gang. Spreading the pizza box next to the laptop, he is back to the presentation with eyes hovering over pictures of Goa. He types facebook in another window and posts an old picture saying ‘Sorry can’t make it. Miss ya!’

As he plops into the bed, his mind wonders if he had his dinner. Instinctively the hand wipes lips and traces of sauce around the lips confirm. Goa seems like a distant dream with the project sitting heavily on his shoulders. He scratches his back to realize he hasn’t fixed the appointment with the physiotherapist. Stress is what both the doctor and Google confirms is the reason. With half-closed eyes he puts a reminder and leaves a message at the reception.

Apparently, we are living in a very flexible world. A world where everything is just a click away. We can shuttle between work and friends, sitting right there. Even go on a date. Get our favourite food by just snapping our fingers.
A complete contrast to life a few decades ago. Telephones were a luxury and a rare commodity then. Trunk calls had to be fixed and quickly finished because of the high cost. Internet was a far-fetched imagination. It is impossible to imagine how were meetings fixed, dates arranged, flights booked and food ordered in those times. Now with various means of accessibility available, life has become so flexible! Infact limitless, it seems. It is only natural to expect that flexibility would make life easier and happier.

But is that so?

Does flexibility allows you to enjoy all that is becoming available to you? Haven’t you become those jelly balls that keep bouncing from one place to another and not belong anywhere? You are being with everybody (keyword social medias) and end up being with nobody!

You are left with no space to savour the little bites of food, soak in the anticipation of a trip, taste the nervousness and the joy of cracking issues at the workplace, enjoy silly laughter with friends or go on long walks with your partner (without cellphones).

Reminds me of the scene from a Bollywood flick where the protagonist sits at the edge of a hill looking at a stunning sunset and is suddenly reminded there is another show he had to catch up in the city. His friend puts her hand on his shoulder and says, “I fear you may not experience either this or that. Let’s stay here, and be here where we are.”
Or George Clooney after years of juggling between flights in ‘Up In the Air’ realizes he has only been drifting away like a dry leaf without an anchor called home.

With flexibility in the outside world, your inner world becomes increasingly rigid and empty from inside. You feel frustrated if you don’t get what you want instantly.

Just the vanishing of the signal, delay in delivery, slow processing fills you with impatience and distress. The more you are trying to stay connected, the more you are getting disconnected from yourself and others. For accessibility and convenience, human beings are paying a big price. We have expanded possibilities and speed but gone shallow on empathy. There is a self erosion that is happening every minute and we are unaware of it. The fear is we may turn out to be lonely robots. We should not stop growth, but we need to utilize the global development for and not against human beings.

It is time you pause and reflect to let this realization dawns on you. With the support of a coach, many precious years can be saved from getting wasted. A coach acts like that friend who holds your hand gently and helps you experience the beauty of life you have been missing. It is important to step back, expand your inner consciousness and absorb the gifts life offers you.

Jasmin Waldmann is a well renowned international Life Coach and the head of Jasmin Waldmann Life Coaching Company.

Her new book, “Change Me” was published in January 2018 and is available in the stands in India and national and international online (in India: AmazonFlipkart; internationally: Amazon). It’s the story of Amit, his trials and triumphs, and how he realises that although the journey to success is your own, you don’t need to do it all alone. Through the book, Jasmin guides you to look within and reflect upon who you are and who you want to be and understand for yourself the path you can travel to change yourself into a even better version oof yourself.

Share your feedback, questions, experiences and suggestions to office@jasminwaldmann.com and read more articles here: www.jasminwaldmann.com/blog

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