Your kids are the reflection of your personality and the society they are living in. This is partly due to genetic reasons and mainly because of the way of upbringing. Spending quality time with them plays a very significant role in molding them in the way you wish to. Many people feel that their children are very open to them and will share their problems and concerns whenever they would have any. But this is not always the case with everybody.
According to the renowned life coach Jasmin Waldmann, right from the time of pregnancy (!) the parents (mainly the mother at this stage) need to create and then maintain a channel of conversation and contact, need to talk when they are in the womb of the mother, constantly, to the age when they barely understand what you say, to the time when the child can talk too.
Of course also beyond that time – but researchers found out that the first two years of a child are very crucial. Specialists knows that the development of trust will be complexity build (or not) in this phase of life.
As said, conversations with your child of course should continue. She/he should build even more confidence that her / his parents are always with them, are interested in them, listening to them (which is truly sometimes a challenge), with the right mixture of not pampering them too much (not raising a spoiled brad) and trying to understand their feelings and (maybe different than yours) ways of thinking. This habit of talking to kids is very crucial for their holistic development. It helps them in acquiring their self-esteem, deep trust and overall self-respect as they become confident that their parents support them.
If you miss the change having regular conversations with your kid(s), they will frame a cocoon around themselves and will shy away sharing their feelings, whether good or bad with you. They will presume that their parents don’t have time for them, no interest and are least concerned for them. They may start comprehending that they have a separate life and that they should not discuss all the things with their parents as the parents are not much interested in their problems, have no time for them to spend, or not even care much about their happy moments. This may cause an adverse effect on their personality and even shake the foundations of the institution known as family, says Jasmin Waldmann.
Thus, we should always try to keep this conversation open with our kids and try to be aware about what is happening in their lives. Moreover, you, as a parent, may guide them in various fields which, otherwise they would endeavor to explore on their own. You can talk to them on several topics such as feelings and thoughts overall, drug abuse, career and passion, sex, relationships etc. and can help them by giving the correct guidance as you are much more experienced and knowledgeable as compared to them. It will help them to develop that inner belief in themselves which is the axis of confidence and happiness in one’s life. On a practical part the best way to meet are rituals. E.g. common lunch / breakfast together, dropping the kid to school, Saturday afternoons together…,
Try to imbibe the habit of connection and attention in your life and witness the change in your kids and their relationship with you. Most important, but aware that they might have other tastes as you; have different opinions or likes and dislikes. They have their own personality and need your support to strengthen that personality. That happens with encouragement!
Jasmin Waldmann is a well renowned international Life Coach. She guides people of any age, occupations, gender or nationality to work on their charisma, inner balance, guide how to become more successful and boost mental and physical health – and this counts for business and private life. Jasmin helps in a team-character way to a life full of joy and satisfaction.