Mothers Day

In the beautiful, meandering path of motherhood, each day is a blend of lessons, laughter, joys, challenges, nerve testing, and moments of reflection. Balancing the dual roles of a life coach and a mother has been an enlightening journey, akin to walking a tightrope with grace, poise, and a bit of courage. This Mother’s Day, as we celebrate the incredible women who nurture, guide, and love unconditionally, I want to share reflections from my personal voyage through motherhood, intertwined with actionable insights into self-care, the potency of mindful parenting, and the liberating art of letting go. From the profound lessons unearthed in the daily dance of motherhood, to simple yet impactful, self-care strategies and mindful practices, this blog is a tribute to all mothers navigating the beautiful complexity of raising children while also honouring themselves. Join me in exploring how embracing imperfection and practicing self-compassion can pave the way for a fulfilling, balanced, and joyful parenting experience. Let’s dive into the world of motherhood and self-care, hand in hand, with a heart full of gratitude and an open mind ready to learn.

Reflecting on my initial days as a mother, I recall the overwhelming sense of cluelessness and responsibility mixed with determination and a profound love that seemed to redefine my entire existence. I found additional strength in those moments, caught between sleepless nights and the baby’s first smiles. New mothers need to recognize this strength within them and understand that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. As mothers, we prioritise caring for our offspring and often neglect self-care; however, self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity. It is the base of our strength, endurance, and devotion to our little ones. We need to take care of ourselves to care for our children in the best way possible. Make time for yourself — whether it’s a short walk alone, a peaceful moment with a book, a soothing bath, a relaxed time under the shower, or a moment for meditation — we can all find a little time for that, right?

A big part of my Life Coaching sessions involves helping my client change their mindsets to transform their lives. As a Life Coach, I always emphasise the importance of confidence-building, time management, change management, stress management, work-life balance, goal-setting, and self-care (emotional, mental, and physical) for corporates and individuals. These are all important for new mothers, too!

I remember one of my clients – a new mother who was on a career break. She approached me because she was losing herself and finding it hard to adjust to this significant change in her life. She was losing confidence in herself not only as a mother but also as a professional.

In the first few months of her child’s birth, she often found herself overwhelmed and distraught and frequently cried herself to sleep, exhausted. She felt stuck in a box. While she always wanted to be there for the baby, she also craved a break and me-time. I had noticed that she was becoming impatient and irritable. It all starts with guilt. New mothers struggle with guilt. As a new mother, I now realise that coaching myself is easy; it is working on the guilt and shame that is the most challenging part. However, it is necessary to be the best version of oneself for the mother and the baby.

Mindfulness, meditation, and journaling are also invaluable tools for managing stress and fostering a positive mindset. However, instead of just telling my client to say to herself, “I can do better,” which is not as easy as it sounds, I helped her rework and better manage her thoughts and actions. Self-care is crucial for mothers in general, but especially so for new mothers. It’s essential to integrate self-care into the hectic life of a mother. I helped my client navigate new motherhood pretty much the same way I am doing it now. However, here are some suggestions from my experience to guide you through motherhood.

Nutrition, for instance, plays a vital role in how we feel and function daily. Amidst the busyness, prioritising a balanced diet can seem daunting. I remember when my son was 5 months old, we took a trip, travelling through Germany and feeding myself felt like the most arduous chore. I couldn’t fathom preparing a delicious meal for myself with all the chaos going on around me. A few days into the trip, I was exhausted, so I reset myself and changed my mindset. Your mind is your most powerful asset, and if you think you can do something, you will be able to do it. I taught myself to be far more relaxed around my child, being there and present for myself as much as I was for him. Following his afternoon nap, we planned a trip to the supermarket, and it was as simple as that. Once we came home, I watched over him while he divulged in his activity centre, while cooking myself something scrumptious for the first time in days! And all it took was that one instance, a change in my state of mind, for me to be able to relax and savour those moments completely.

Motherhood can be isolating, and many mothers grapple with feelings of loneliness or anxiety. I remember trying to connect with other mothers for play dates so I could talk to someone who could understand what I was going through. Building a supportive network is worth everything! You can do this in many ways — local meet-ups, online forums, or simply befriending mothers within your community. Such friends can be your lifeline in challenging situations, and it’s always good to have someone you can trust aside from your partner. Additionally, it’s so much easier to stay sane when you know you’re not alone!

Exercise is a powerful stress reliever, and finding activities that fit into your schedule, such as yoga, walking, or even dancing with your children, can boost your happiness and resilience. You think you have no time for that? Think again, because you do!

Some of my favourite activities include singing, dancing, and hiking adventures. These are so easy and fun and are the perfect activities to take care of my body and mind. After having my baby, a hiking carrier was one of my best purchases. It was so simple, and my son loved going on tiny adventures with me! He, like his mommy, is also a fan of music and dancing, so our midday dance parties were a must. We also spent quality time in nature, going on brisk morning walks, my favourite substitute for interval training. Another great idea is getting membership at a gym that has other activities in and around it. My gym is in a polo club, so I always brought my son and my nanny along, and he loved exploring the stables and watching the horses while I got my workout in. At the end of the day, my son and I were happy, and I always felt a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction when getting some physical activity in. I realised this helped me think clearly, and I was just happier overall!

Celebrating small victories is another aspect of self-care that deserves recognition. In the whirlwind of parenting, acknowledging and revelling in the little achievements — both our children’s and our own — can cultivate a sense of accomplishment and joy. Whether it’s successfully potty-training your toddler (reading her/his physical cues rightly and timely), mastering a new recipe, or getting somewhere on time.

Each of these elements — from nutrition and exercise to mental health and celebrating victories — constitutes a pillar of self-care that, when tended to, can enhance the motherhood experience immeasurably.

Lastly, I would like to discuss the art of “letting go”. We can all relate when I say every aspect of motherhood is the ‘hardest part’. But the most challenging part is letting go of perfection.

I tried to go to a few classes like baby sensory, baby gym. And guess what… They have specific timings. And sometimes my son would sleep longer, so we couldn’t make it. Sometimes a week went by without participating in a single class. Initially, I was frustrated, as it would have been so good for my son to socialize, learn, experiment, etc. But then I needed to let go as I didn’t want to stress out my son in rushing here and there, despite his physical needs. So, I let go and liberated myself tremendously from that.

This is about accepting that not everything will go according to your plan, which is perfectly fine. It is impossible to plan every minute of every day and have everything work exactly right when you have an unpredictable cutie in your arm. Learning to relinquish control over the small things and focusing on what truly matters — love, connection, and the joy of being together — can dramatically reduce stress and increase the quality of our lives and parenting. By letting go of the pursuit of perfection, we strengthen our bond with our child or children tremendously. Furthermore, it increases their trust in not just us but also in the world. And isn’t this the highest aim?

These reflections and practices have been pivotal in my motherhood journey, guiding me through the rollercoaster of emotions and challenges. This Mother’s Day, I wish to warmly invite all mothers to join me in this voyage of discovery, healing, and immense love. Through sharing, learning, and supporting one another, we can uncover the boundless strength and beauty within ourselves and our unique journeys through motherhood. Cheers to all the amazing mothers out there today and every day!  So, let’s celebrate Mother’s Day by pampering ourselves with self-care, cherishing mindful moments with our children, and embracing imperfection with open hearts.

This Mother’s Day, let’s vow to give these areas the attention they deserve, not just for our well-being but for the well-being of our families. By taking care of ourselves, we’re better equipped to care for the ones we love most deeply.

Happy Mother’s Day, my dear fellow mothers!